Thursday, February 28, 2008

and she's off!

okay i admit i've sat down about 3 times to start this blog and keep getting pulled away from the computer. it's mom's time now! so..... i just wanted to talk about my peyton, yep she's crawling! i love it! it's not the most graceful crawl you've ever seen but she is for sure getting around with it which is all that i need.


this may sound really sappy but i feel so blessed that she started to crawl before her surgery. she's been getting around now for a few weeks but like i said i have had a hard time sitting down as of late. my point i was going to make was that i know that it's kind of early, she wasn't quite 6 months when she started, but i just worried a little bit that having her chest cut open might set her back from crawling if she didn't start before because of it being uncomfortable for her. i am just so happy that we passed this mile stone before so i'm celebrating with this post and picture. go peyton!



speaking of peyton i think it's time that i be honest. that is what blogs are for anyway right? it's not like i have tons of people looking at it anyway so i'm going to just share what i've been coming to grips with lately. i'll just say it I'M SCARED! i'm scared for peyton's surgery!

we have been waiting for something like 48 weeks now for this to happen; i have never claimed to be a patient person! the whole time i have some how felt like i'm supposed to be strong, and feel very guilty for even making a big deal out of it or talking about it because i feel like it's so minor compared to other things that other people go through. i feel like everyone has their sob stories and this is just ours, you know what i mean?


anyway i'm so glad that we have family for support here in dallas, but there is something to be said about a good ole' fashion friend. i'm scared that i won't have a friend to call and say," i need a brake from my house, i'll be to your house in...." i'm scared that i'll really need a good laugh when ian's not around with no friend to give it to me. i'm scared i'm going to be to wrapped up in things to get to the phone to call a friend. i'm scared because ian and i won't have another couple friend to go on a double date with. one of those dates where ian talks to spencer about basketball and keri and i talk about the hills or something really important like that. i'm scared riley will go crazy in our house while peyton's healing and i won't have shannyn or sarah to call and ask if riley can come play. i'm scared i won't have a friend to meet up with a run for after ian comes home and i need some buff time. i'm scared if i run out of food i won't be able to walk down stairs to my, "other kitchen" and sarah and brian's house. i'm scared that i won't have a becky to plan something fun to do, to get our minds off of things.

i'm not saying i need anyone to come rescue me and that my situation is so hard. the recovery period will just be different that what i first imagined while we were living in utah. it just makes me kind of sad.


and then i think i'm just being dramatic.

14 comments:

John said...

i don't know totally what you are going through but i know what you mean. and i don't think you are being dramatic. it is hard!! but i really think you will be surprised at how fast peyton will recover from this all. i'm always here to talk about nothing at all or whatever is going on, i know you know that. i was freaked out with all of jacks stuff and to be honest i still am. it is all overwhelming. ok sorry this is a really long comment. i'll sign off now.

Cassie said...

Buff...I am sure that it will go well but if you need a trip back to Utah for some fun and relaxation come back ASAP!!! Good luck with it and keep us posted.

Sarah said...

oh i love you! i'm sad that i'm not there for you. buffy, you have been so strong- ever since you found out. kind of amazing really. so it's okay to freak out if you need to. you know i would have by now for sure! and it's okay to be scared. it's a scary thing having your baby have surgery. i would wonder if you weren't scared. but peyton is a tough kid...i know she'll be okay. she's overcome so much already, she can handle this. okay, i feel like i'm giving a talk. i'm gonna call you soon. miss you!

and by the way- crawling at six months? what kind of super kids do you and ian produce?

Emily said...

When Makai had surgery when he was 8 months old, I fell apart when the anesthesiologist took him into the O.R. and it wasn't even that major of a surgery. It doesn't matter what it is, it's just tough when your child is in any sort of pain. The good thing is, babies are SO resilient. Makai didn't even cry in the hospital. I hope everything goes well for Peyton...when is the surgery?

Angel said...

Pick Me! ok Buffy, so i may not be as cool as your utah chick's but I can kick it. I will be there for you anytime, I watch The Hills (though is is painful to admit), I can actually cook and I would love to play with Riley any day.

You and Ian are an amazing team and you will sail through this as will Peyton. Jim and I admire your parenting skills daily - you are a superstar - don't forget it!

Perdy please call me - lets go to the zoo!

Mari said...

Buffy. I hope all goes well. I know having Adan's surgery when he wsa only 6 weeks old was so hard and scary. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I would love to come visit a wonderful friend who is not that far away! Keep strong!

Life in the Oliver Lane! said...

P.S. I love you
P.S.S. I love Peyty too!

Haley&Gabe said...

Buffy--hey there! Everything will work out i promise. you have dealt with the situation so well and i know you will be just fine! little kids are so strong and overcome things quickly! when is her surgery? we all miss you at good ol' PCS...

Flinders Family said...

We all thought you were being way too calm about the whole thing anyway. You have every right to be scared and you have had to be scared for so long now! I can remember all of our talks running around the track at the rec center and thinking you were so amazing to be so strong about the whole thing. It will all work out though! And you better not be too busy to call...ha ha ha...like we both aren't too busy to talk already!

The Forney Four said...

I just love love love you. I promise I'm not stalking you either. Angel commented on my blog about my race, which took me to her blog, which led me to your blog and this post made me teary. Please know that we'll be here for you during her surgery. I will bring food to your house and I will go running with you (because I need to keep it up)and you guys will not be forgotten. I can only imagine what you're feeling through all this. Now that your hubby is the "boss man" of the mic at church, I promise you'll have help during sacrament and whenever else you need it. Honestly, I haven't told you this before, but I am just so thankful that people like you have moved into our ward. You're a wonderful person and your family is just beautiful. We're so blessed to have you.

To sum up, I think you're superwoman and whatever you need, please let us know.

Blythe Sudweeks said...

Buffy, this blog made me so sad! I'm so sorry that things are so overwhelming. I know I'm really far away, but if there's anything I can do for you guys just let me know.

By the way, I finally started a blog. I'm sure it'll be pretty boring, but at least it'll be another way to keep in touch with you guys. I miss you and Ian! Come back!

Audrey said...

Oh man, can I just tell you my heart is pounding for you guys!! Cole was suppose to get surgery at 6 months but when we took him to his pre appt. they told us to bring him back he wasn't ready and we STILL haven't! It breaks my heart to imagine a busy body lying still and sedated! Please let us know how it goes... and here is hoping ALL GOES WELL!

theweav's said...

Hey, I found your blog the same way Camille did. I am so glad I did. I definately won't go running with you because I would die but I would love to have Riley come and play with Maggie anytime you need a break and if you want to get out of the house my door is always open and I am almost always home. I will call you later this week and see if Riley wants to come play or you can call me anytime.

Mindy said...

Yay, Angel told me about your blog, but I haven't checked it in a long long time. ANYWAY, once I am out of my first trimester misery (and it better get better soon), I'm in your neighborhood and am in need of friends. I'm sure Caden and Riley would get along. Once I am better, we have to hang out. ;)